Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Gifted to Succeed and Socialization

I was homeschooled.  Many times I would be asked, “But what about socialization?” After a while I came up with a slightly snarky, but true answer of, “Well, I'm talking to you, so I guess I'm ok!” It's funny that in all that time I always assumed the definition of socialization was something like, “The act of being around other people”. Honestly, I think that's what most people would assume. My eyes were opened when I looked up the definition and found what it actually means (according to

so·cial·i·za·tion [soh-shuh-luh-zey-shuhn]

1. a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position.
2. the act or process of making socialistic: the socialization of industry.

This is more than just being around people. Socialization really means acquiring your:

1. Identity
2. Idea of normalcy
3. Values
4. Behavior
5. Social skills
6. ...and learning what your position is in society.

If I had known the true definition years ago I would have realized that my snarky little comment to get people to back off could have instead been a deep thinking moment to get them to re-evaluate their worldview.

I can't go back and find all the people who posed this question to me, but since I have your attention, I would like to share with you what I wish I could have shared with them.

    1. Identity
I am not going to assume what every teacher, class mate, principal, bus driver, janitor, truent officer, etc. teaches children about their identity. However, I do know what my parents wanted me to know about who I am, and what I want to teach my children.

I am complete in Him Who is the Head of all principality and power (Colossians 2:10).
I am alive with Christ (
Ephesians 2:5).
I am free from the law of sin and death (
Romans 8:2).
I am far from oppression, and fear does not come near me (Isaiah 54:14).
I am born of God, and the evil one does not touch me (1 John 5:18).
I am holy and without blame before Him in love (Ephesians 1:41 Peter 1:16).
I have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16Philippians 2:5).
I have the peace of God that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7).
I have the Greater One living in me; greater is He Who is in me than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4).
I have received the gift of righteousness and reign as a king in life by Jesus Christ (Romans 5:17).
I have received the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Jesus, the eyes of my understanding being enlightened (Ephesians 1:17-18).
I have received the power of the Holy Spirit to lay hands on the sick and see them recover, to cast out demons, to speak with new tongues.  I have power over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means harm me (Mark 16:17-18Luke 10:17-19).
I have put off the old man and have put on the new man, which is renewed in the knowledge after the image of Him Who created me (Colossians 3:9-10).
I have given, and it is given to me; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, men give into my bosom (Luke 6:38).
I have no lack for my God supplies all of my need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).
I can quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one with my shield of faith (Ephesians 6:16).
I can do all things through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:13).
I show forth the praises of God Who has called me out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9).
I am God’s child for I am born again of the incorruptible seed of the Word of God, which lives and abides forever (1 Peter 1:23).
I am God’s workmanship, created in Christ unto good works (Ephesians 2:10).
I am a new creature in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).
I am a spirit being alive to God (Romans 6:11;1 Thessalonians 5:23).
I am a believer, and the light of the Gospel shines in my mind (2 Corinthians 4:4).
I am a doer of the Word and blessed in my actions (James 1:22,25).
I am a joint-heir with Christ (Romans 8:17).
I am more than a conqueror through Him Who loves me (Romans 8:37).
I am an overcomer by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony (Revelation 12:11).
I am a partaker of His divine nature (2 Peter 1:3-4).
I am an ambassador for Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20).
I am part of a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a purchased people (1 Peter 2:9).
I am the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21).
I am the temple of the Holy Spirit; I am not my own (1 Corinthians 6:19).
I am the head and not the tail; I am above only and not beneath (Deuteronomy 28:13).
I am the light of the world (Matthew 5:14).
I am His elect, full of mercy, kindness, humility, and longsuffering (Romans 8:33Colossians 3:12).
I am forgiven of all my sins and washed in the Blood (Ephesians 1:7).
I am delivered from the power of darkness and translated into God’s kingdom (Colossians 1:13).
I am redeemed from the curse of sin, sickness, and poverty (Deuteronomy 28:15-68Galatians 3:13).
I am firmly rooted, built up, established in my faith and overflowing with gratitude (Colossians 2:7).
I am called of God to be the voice of His praise (Psalm 66:82 Timothy 1:9).
I am healed by the stripes of Jesus (Isaiah 53:51 Peter 2:24).
I am raised up with Christ and seated in heavenly places (Ephesians 2:6Colossians 2:12).
I am greatly loved by God (Romans 1:7Ephesians 2:4Colossians 3:121 Thessalonians 1:4).
I am strengthened with all might according to His glorious power (Colossians 1:11).
I am submitted to God, and the devil flees from me because I resist him in the Name of Jesus (James 4:7).
I press on toward the goal to win the prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward (Philippians 3:14).
For God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).
It is not I who live, but Christ lives in me (Galatians 2:20). (Source:

2. Idea of normalcy

Romans 12:2 ESV
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind,
that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

What is normal? Or should I ask, do I want to be normal? We could go through all sorts of statistics to determine what normal is in this day and age. defines normal as, “conforming to the standard or the common type”. Whose “standard” are we to conform to? Normalcy dictates that we use statistics to determine the “common type”, which would be the standard to conform to. Is it possible to conform to what is common while not conforming to the pattern of this world? These ideas seem to be at complete odds. You cannot conform to the pattern of this world and renew your mind at the same time. This is a choice that must be made. If you wish to be a Christ Follower and allow Him to transform you, you cannot be normal.

1 Peter 2:9 ESV
But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

Romans 12:1 ESV
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

1 Corinthians 6:19 ESV
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own...

3. Values
Value means, “relative worth, merit, or importance”. (

Children need to know that they are of value, and the parents will be the ones who shape a child's values – idea of relative worth. Do our kids know they are important to us? You don't have to homeschool your children to let them know that they are important to you, but you do have to spend time with them.

When hanging out with other kids it's easy to lose sight of what is important and instead get caught up in “keeping up with the Joneses”. Sally may have prettier clothes, Tom may have better shoes, everyone may have the new fancy cell phone. Have we taught our children to have a balanced view of what is important and what is truly of great worth?

1 Corinthians 10:23-24 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive. No one should seek their own good, but the good of others.

Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Proverbs 19:1
Better is a poor person who walks in his integrity than one who is crooked in speech and is a fool.

4. Behavior

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.

Train up “a child”, not “children”. This infers individual instruction. We must understand that children are not robots. They will not all behave the same way. Each child has different gifts and talents and areas of weakness. It is impossible for a teacher to help each child in their class excel in his or her area of gifting. This must be the parents responsibility. When a child is not challenged, or conversely is pushed into something that is not his gift, it can result in “behavior problems”.

How do we determine our child's area of gifting? Here are three ways:

  1. Observation – What do they enjoy?
  2. Prayer – Ask God to open your eyes to observe.
  3. Have your child take the Gifted to Succeed course – If age appropriate.

Psalm 139:14-16
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Romans 1:1 ESV
Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God...

Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

Ephesians 2:10 ESV
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

5. Social skills
(This is the area that most people are talking about when they ask about socialization.) defines Social Skills as, “any skill facilitating interaction and communication with others ”. Unless you live on a very small island you are bound to learn how to communicate and interact with others. After all these years I'm still a bit snarky about this. ;)

On a more serious note, the question for us to ask ourselves is whether we are most interested in behavior modification or shaping the hearts of our children. Are we simply expecting our children to be able to parrot the politically correct dogma of the world with the correct grammar and spelling, or we training them to use their communication skills to stand up for that which is righteous and holy?

Proverbs 31:8-9 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.

Ephesians 6:13 NIV Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

John 15:18 If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.

In Closing...

The definition of socialization states that it is a “continuing process”. Thank God for grace! We have all learned a lot since we first began our process- at birth. Perhaps looking back you see that you were not taught about your true identity in Christ. Perhaps you longed to be normal but were treated as an outcast, and were hurt by this. Maybe your views on what is truly valuable have changed over the years. You might be ashamed of some of the behavior you displayed as a child, or you may have been painfully shy. It is also possible that you had a great upbringing, but you realize that you have not passed that heritage on to your children. Whatever your particular situation, I have good news!

We can be “certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” Philippians 1:6

I am a work in progress. He's not finished with me yet!

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  1. thanks for sharing these great truths. the lord is not done with you yet as u say



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